Baby, It's Cold Inside (People's Hearts)

At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.

I'm not one that likes to point out sin. I don't think that most of the time it turns a person to God. I think pointing a person towards God's love works so much better. But this week, a couple of things happened and a friend of mine reminded me of the above scripture. Unfortunately, I saw it in action.

I was at the grocery store when I saw someone I haven't seen since, well, last winter around this time. He is by nature a fairly gloomy sort of person and I'm okay with that in most people. People have tough lives and it does make them "out of sorts", but this man's attitude makes my eye twitch so bad that I'm afraid it (my eye) will some day just shoot right out of the socket and hit in the head!

He had come to see me for food for the first time about five years ago. For those that don't know, I'm the director of a food pantry that serves people struggling in this difficult economy. When I pointed out the pre-packed bags and told him to pick one he took one look and said "There's nothing in these bags I want."

Hmmmmm. Really?

I don't expect a pat on the back or even a thank you, but this was just unappreciation. I said, "It's free food."

He looked startled and said, "Oh...um...okay," picked up a bag and walked out.

At the grocery store the other day, I found that not only hasn't he changed, he's apparently worse. He asked me when our Christmas give away was. I told him that we were not really having a special food give away for Christmas. Our resource for turkeys had dried up and I wasn't sure I would be able to give everyone a turkey like I have in the past. I told him I did have chickens though and I thought everyone would get a chicken.

"I'm sick of chicken," he grumbled. "It's all I've been eating and if I eat another one I'm going to be sick."

Hmmmmmm. Really?

"It sounds like you don't need anything, then." I said. He sort of cleared his throat and then said, "Everyone's been giving me chickens." (He wanted me to know that he didn't really have the money to BUY the chickens, so I would know that he WAS in need.) He continued to go on about how all people give him is chicken. He's so tired of eating chicken.

This is serious unappreciation. Apparently, he did not work for this food, it was handed to him and instead of showing thankfulness, he pretty much was spittin' in their eye!

I told him the date and time of our next food give away, bit my tongue, controlling what I WANTED to say, walked out of the store and drove home complaining to God.

Now, please understand. This is NOT the attitude of the people I serve, for the most part. Most of them will thank me over and over. Some will even give me a hug. That happened twice this week when I was able to help someone with their utility bills. Most people who are in need show great appreciation and are grateful for anything anyone can do for them.

This guy is amongst the few. This guy has a bitter and cold heart.

But, he's not the only one. Something else happened this week in Youngstown that unfortunately proves we are dealing many times with cold hearts.

A man drove up to the drive-thru at a McDonald's at 1:00 AM. The person working the window noticed something about the man's car. There was a set of legs hanging out of the back of the vehicle. The McDonald's employee told the man. He got out of his car, walked around the back and looked. Then, he got back into his car, and sped out of the drive-thru, dragging this person two or more blocks. The police followed the blood path and found the young man in the road a few blocks away. He lived three more hours. They could only identify him because of his tattoos. He was 22 years old and had frequented the place where I worked. I remembered him vaguely as someone who was respectful to our workers. He lived across the street from me.

A very frigid, cold heart was in the drive thru at McDonald's that Saturday.

They are everywhere. This past weekend, the largest shopping weekend of the year, called "Black Friday", the blackness of men's hearts was seen across the country when a Walmart opened it's doors early on Friday morning and the crowd trampled a man to death and then proceeded to step over his body to buy their new digital cameras and large screen TV's. No one stopped to help the man. I heard that when they tried to shut down the store because it was a crime scene, people complained because they couldn't finish their shopping.

Well, Fa la la la la la la la la. Something (or someone) other than the halls needed decked!

I also read on line a couple of weeks ago, that when a football team, (I believe it was the Miami Dolphins? Is that a team?) tried to give turkeys to a group of homeless and poor people that the people were so disgusted with the athletes' losing streak that they turned their noses up at the team's generosity and walked away. The shelter had to ask the team to leave, so that the crowd would accept the food that they needed.

How dark and black were these people's hearts? Is there hope for such as these?

There just may be. FOX TV recently aired a new show called "Secret Millionaire". On this reality show, multi-millionaires disguise themselves as everyday Joe's and step out of their shiny, glitzy bubbles for one week and live among everyday people. The two episodes I watched they lived with people who were incredibly poor or living in very challenging circumstances.

By the end of the week, in both episodes, both sets of multi-millionaires were in awe of these people. The things they endured everyday, the strength they displayed, and the kindness and compassion that they showed their fellow man. The fun thing is, they have an opportunity to go back and tell these people that they lied to them....they weren't every day shmoes, they were actually multi-millionaires and then handed them checks ranging from $25,000 to $100,000.

Yes, Virginia, people's hearts can softened. There is hope.

As the church, what is our responsibility here? I know I've prayed for God to soften people's hearts....but being that God has given us freedom of choice....would he DO that? Or is it OUR job to ask God to help us in this? Do we become proactive in looking for opportunities to stretch and soften our own hearts? Do we look for ways to change? Do we step outside of OUR shiny church bubbles and look for ways to help our fellow man? Even if it's NOT Christmas?

What do you think?

I Didn't Go To Church This Week.....

......Actually, right now, we would probably be on our way home from church. Normally, Ken and I like to go to New Hope on Saturday evenings and relax on Sunday mornings. Last night when he said "let's go tomorrow", I was okay with it. But then this morning I was exhausted. I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed and go to church and then spend the rest of the day rushing around to the other events that were planned for today: a volunteer appreciation dinner for a non-profit that I'm currently serving on their board of directors and a concert where a food drive is being held for the non-profit that I work for. I wanted to be at both events, and the thought of running to church and then running home and cleaning the kitchen (which didn't get totally finished last night) and .....oh well. I just couldn't do it.

I have a friend who went through some serious introspection and doubts when her children desired to attend a church that she did not feel comfortable in. Her sorrow was palpable. She struggled and struggled. She and her husband went to the church in question with their, then, teenage children, but they just didn't like it. It was very non-traditional and they were very traditional. When I suggested they just let their children go where they wanted and they continue to attend the church THEY liked, she stated with no hesitation "No. Our family needs to be together for church."

At what cost? Eventually, they just continued at the traditional church and I felt sorry for her children. After fifteen years of Catholic church, where I was totally bored and acted out in horrific ways (puppet shows with my mittens during the liturgy, talking and giggling.....you know, regular sinful behaviour), my mother finally said "Do what you want." I am so grateful to her. Catholic Church, although the ONLY church for my very traditionally Catholic Italian family, just did NOT suit me. I couldn't sit still that long. Okay, sit still....stand.....sit still....stand...kneel.....sit still.....stand.....chant....(in Latin).....it just was NOT me. For me it just didn't have to do with God. I'm assuming, for them, it did.

When the Charismatic church was born (again, get it?), I fit in just fine. They actually LIKED puppet shows, (at least at the right time). I could be myself and their teachings went right to my heart.

I guess the point I'm making is....um.....geez....what was I talking about. See what I mean? My mind is just not in one place long enough to stay on the subject.

Oh, yeah....I didn't go to church (today) because I have so much going on this week and I needed some time at home and YES that included writing this blog. It relaxes me, it helps me to focus (more than usual). I needed to clean my bathroom and kitchen and not rely on a sixteen year old who will do ANYTHING to get out of it, including lying and saying she DID it.

Going to a service on Sunday morning or Saturday evening does NOT define my relationship with Jesus. It may encourage me in that relationship, but I don't rely on it to BE my relationship. I rely on turning my heart to God no matter where I'm at: in a church building, grocery store, in front of my computer, or at work dishing out Thanksgiving Dinner. Jesus is with me all of the time, not only when I'm at church. He is with me now.

And what right do I have to tell anyone, including my children, that they MUST worship like me and in the same way that I worship. Shouldn't I encourage them in their OWN relationship with God. My relationship with God looks totally different than my traditional Italian family's idea of a relationship with God and yes, there was a time that I think they may have want to judge me because of it, but not anymore. I pursued God in spite of what I thought they thought and I developed that relationship (with God) with the help of people who loved me, accepted me, and allowed me to live my spiritual life the way God intended me to. In the way God created me to live it. I feel that I owe my children and anyone else the same respect and consideration.

Ken and I attend a church called New Hope, a non-traditional Nazarene Church (yes, Virginia, there is such a thing). My son goes to the same church, periodically, on his own. My daughter attends church at a non-denominational church that meets in an old school across the street from our house. She also attends about 3-4 different youth groups. She is all about loving Jesus. I'm okay with my children's journeys. We all have a journey....a journey that I believe is meant to be spiritual all of the time....I call it "my life". Our lives will not always look the same, maybe at times it will, but not all of the time, and that's okay. I believe that is the way God meant for this world to be. A lot of different people, walking differently, living differently and yet each being a reflection of God. I think when we believe that, God gets bigger and bigger and brighter and brighter. It excites me.

Anyway, as I was saying, I didn't go to church this week, but I think I'll BE the church this week and love and respect my fellow brothers and sisters no matter what their life looks like. I'll pray that they find God and meet him this week in a way that will make an eternal difference in their lives.

Why It's Called: Spirituality4Dummies

I wrote this little devotion (or anti-devotion) a couple of years ago. I found it tonight in "my documents" when I was searching for a picture of myself to put on my blog. As you can see I got a bit distracted: there's no picture. Anyway, this amused me. I hope you enjoy it and don't want to throw a copy of this favored book at me.

DEVOTIONS FOR DUMMIES

I just laid down my copy of Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost For His Highest for about the third time this week, thinking once again, “What in the world is this guy talking about?”

I have been a Christian for almost 35 years and I can read most of the Bible and understand it…but this guy is way over my head.

I need a devotional that is a bit simpler.

One that answers the questions:

Does God love me when I scream at my children?

If my house is a mess am I walking in sin?

If I tell my boss that I’m not coming in because I’m sick…and really I’m not physically sick, but just sick of work…Is that a lie?

Am I going to experience spontaneous combustion if I’m muttering four letter words when some guy cuts me off in traffic?

I think that we live in a society that at times needs a much simpler way of devoting than how Oswald Chambers talks. Mind you I have friends that think he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. I personally prefer unsliced, whole wheat or rye bread. Does this make me spiritually weird?

Whatever happened to “love the Lord your God with all of your heart and love your neighbor as yourself.” If I remember correctly Jesus said that the entire law was summed up in these two commandments. Why must we make things so complicated?

I guess I’m just a simple person. I don’t like pomp and circumstance. I prefer sitting in the park listening to the birds chirp to listening to a choir in a church on Sunday morning.

I think it’s great that some people get all of this other stuff. My friends who oooohhhh & aaaahhhhh over Oswald Chambers are welcome to him. Maybe they will explain him to me some day and I’ll get him. But I’m happy watching a movie and letting God speak to me through that or listening to my CD of the ocean and calm music. I hear God in those things.

Oh, well. When I meet Ossie in heaven, I bet we’ll have a rip snortin’ time. Until then, I think I’ll just sit his book next to my armchair and let it look nice.

Is The Church Homophobic?

Our church is going through a series from a book called "They Love Jesus But Not The Church". This book asks the church a few hard questions. These questions will cause your church to take a good look at themselves and maybe challenge themselves in the way they have presented themselves AND Jesus to their communities.

This week the question asked was "Is the church homophobic?" I remembered something that had happened to me awhile back.

About five years ago, I met a woman that really made me think about how the church treats members of the gay community. This woman came to me for assistance. She was a single woman in her late thirties. A little masculine in her appearance.

At the time the ministry I'm a part of had this questionnaire form that I was suppose to use at each interview. I did not like the form because I felt that is was intrusive. (I may have told you about this form before).

The thing I did like about the form was that I did get to know people better. One of the questions was "Do you attend church anywhere?"

When I asked this woman this question she said "no", she did not attend church and then proceeded to tell me why.

She said she was gay and not welcome in most churches. She had been treated with hostility in the past.

I told her my feelings. I told her that I knew what the Bible said about homosexuals, but it also said the greatest commandment was to "love the Lord with all of your heart" and then "Love your neighbor as yourself". I try to love people.

She told me the reason she was struggling with provisions was because she had a niece living with her that was a teenager and pregnant. I got the feeling that the young girl had been ostracized by her family and that her aunt took her in out of the goodness of her heart.

There it is!

The goodness of her heart!

This woman had a good heart. Her niece came in a few minutes later and you could see the love and appreciation in her eyes towards her aunt who was now struggling financially because she had opened her home to her. Months later, I would see them again, when the girl's baby was a toddler. The aunt was more of a grandma to this baby than a great aunt. And they were a very close family unit. You could feel the love when they were together.

And some in the church say "Gays are bad.....the church is good."

I'm confused. I have known more than one good church family who has thrown a teenage daughter out of the house and onto the street because she became pregnant and spoiled their "good Christian name".

I feel that this woman who is gay seemed to personify the character of Jesus more than those "good Christian" families who felt their names had been spoiled by a teenager's poor judgement.

Here's how I feel: it's time to look at these people who call themselves gay and spend some time with them. Get to know them. Most of them have good hearts and are deserving of our respect and the love that God has so freely shown us.

This is not about sin. Everyone sins. Gay people sin, good Christian families sin, priests sin...(oops...did I say that out loud?)

This is about loving and accepting human beings that were created, like you and me, in the image of Christ.

What do you think? Do you KNOW someone who is gay? What kind of impression have they left on you? How well do you know them? I'd love your opinion about this!

Jesus Appearing...in the bathroom....on the counter....in marble....true story....sort of

Do you remember the episode of "Friends" when Phoebe was channeling a woman who refused to "cross over" until she experienced everything? She crossed over when Phoebe went to a gay wedding. She said, "Now I've seen everything." and was gone.

If I had chosen this philosophy, I would join her, because what I heard on our local news this week made me want to say the same thing...."Now I've seen everything."

I have to admit, God has joined me in the most bazaar places. And many times....MANY times...I've heard his still small voice speaking to me while I was in my bathroom. Let's face it, it's one of the few times in one day I am alone and able to hear ANYTHING!

And, yes, I've seen what seemed to be his face in the grain of wood in my paneling and in the way the cement floor swirls in some places. I believe you could see or hear God wherever you want to or HE wants you to.

But this week, on our local news, a woman says she saw Jesus' face in the swirl of her marble topped counter in her bathroom. And here's what got me....the local TV news people went to her house and interviewed her. (Seriously? Iraq wasn't exciting enough for you?)

The first time I saw the news and they zoomed in on her counter, I didn't see it. The second time....Lo and behold, there He was! Looking majestic, his head tilted ever so slightly up towards the heavens... (true story).

Okay....I really don't have a problem with this woman saying she saw Jesus in her countertop. I mean I DID see something that looked like his face...just like I did in my paneling....BUT...

Bring the media out? And here's the clincher.....she feels this is her answer from God for her financial troubles and is selling her counter on E-BAY for a whopping $50,000. (She will send her daughter to college on this). I also noticed that when they interviewed her, she did not allow her face to be seen and was only presented in a sillouette.


My friend, and Pastor, talks alot about the church having a consumer mentality. We become Christians and go to church to "get something" for ourselves. I myself remember saying of my old church that "I was tired of cookies and milk and in need of meat and potatoes." I went to church "for me". It was ALL ABOUT ME!

This is a striking example of the consumer mentality. Not only does she want something from Jesus, but she's selling Him for $50,000. (I mean that is what she wants......money).

I struggle with this whole thing. I mean is this woman genuine? Am I belittling her desire to send her daughter to college? I don't wish to belittle anyone. But to me this is ridiculous. Again....it's not about what she saw. It's about what she did with what she saw. It's about making Jesus a product.

Have we done this to Jesus? Have we reduced Him to our "quick fix" for all of our troubles? Is that all He is?

Is this REALLY God's answer to her financial woes? I suppose there may have been a time that I may have even gone and worshiped at the altar of marble at the bathroom counter. I am now seeing how shallow I have been. That my relationship with God should be about "a relationship with God." Not about "what could I get from Him today."

Also, I must confess, I have a friend, who, as a teenager said he had seen the Blessed Mother and I believe him. He is not a sensationalist. He's just normal guy who loves God. He did NOT go to the media or run around trying to get attention. And yet, word got out. And when he tried to go to a certain church, they told him that they didn't want that sort of stuff in their church and turned him away at the door. He was incredibly hurt and embarrassed. He did NOT sign up for this.

So, I'm torn. I believe this friend of mine has a good heart. By the way, he eventually found a great church and has been attending it for years. But it was not his intention to create a bunch of drama.

But then there's these people....I went into Google to see if I could find a picture of this miracle. I found out that Jesus has a appeared in alot of bathrooms. Also a burrito, MRI, ultrasound, chimichanga and the underside of a dog's belly. As humorous as this sounds....

Tell me what YOU think. Do you think these people are just trying to get attention? Do they really believe God is sending them a message? What do you think?

So....what grates on YOUR nerves? Sayings I Hate and Sayings I Love.

There are a few sayings that seriously make me want to spit. When people say them, I roll my eyes and usually say some crazy sarcastic something and then they probably walk away clicking their tongues and committing me to prayer. So I will tell you the ones I hate and some that I love and I want to here your "faves" (she said sarcastically).

HATED

#1: "All I want is for you to be happy."

Did you ever watch a TV show or a movie or even (gulp) said this to your children? I just can't believe that anyone would want just "happiness" for their children! Seriously? On more than one occasion, I've been known to give the TV the raspberries because of this line on a show. My husband loves to tell my children: "Remember, your mother doesn't want you happy, she wants you miserable....now go clean your room!"

WHY?

Do you wonder why we have produced a generation of video game playing, temper tantrum throwing, selfish individuals? I'm sure that last statement pretty much says it all and it's not that I want my kids to be UNhappy. It's just that I want SO MUCH MORE for them.

I want them to be: considerate, generous, courageous, loving, giving, full of grace and forgiveness, smart, wise discerning, creative, etc.

Do you see what I mean? When you tell a child that ALL you want is for them to be happy then all they will EVER DO is pursue happiness (for themselves and no one else).

This is why parenting is so hard. If I just wanted my kids to be happy all I would have to do is give them whatever they want and watch them smile and giggle. Let me tell you, throwing candy at a video game playing 22 year old and watching him giggle and suck his thumb is not a pretty picture to me. I want my kids to grow up to be responsible adults.

#2: "When your children are little they step on your toes, when they're older they step on your hearts."

Seriously, telling this to the parent of teenagers does not help. At least not me. Usually these "words of wisdom" are thrown at me when I'm telling someone how my kid just ripped my heart out of my chest and did a flamingo dance on it. I really don't want to hear your cute little saying. I need more than this. I need help (maybe drugs?)

#3: "I don't pray for patience because then I'm going to NEED it."

Well that's just brilliant. I got a newsflash for you. That thing that's going to happen that makes you impatient is going to happen whether you pray for patience or not. I'm thinkin' you BETTER be praying for patience instead of handling that little gem on your own.

#4: "Woman of God"

How could someone who loves God HATE this phrase?! I guess it happened when someone came to my house one time and saw how unkept it was and wouldn't speak to me for weeks because they thought I was "a woman of God". Then they saw my house was messy and they changed their opinion of me. Mind you, they came to help me move and were mortified to find that we were not prepared with all of our boxes packed and the house swept and ready. It was then, that this phrase being thrown around made my eye twitch.

Oh NO! Wait! It was before that! It was when I was having coffee with a friend and she commented on my two other friends about what "women of God" they were and then she said, "And you're so funny." I HATE this phrase!

Now for a couple of sayings I LOVE

#1: "You know what your problem is? You've got a freak flag and you're just not flying it." From the movie "The Family Stone"

Yep! I've got to admit it and you may find it hard to believe, there are days I DON'T fly my freak flag. It's true. In my line of work, I meet with city officials, pastors, commissioners, judges and flying a freak flag COULD be detrimental. But the truth is: I'm a freak! And I love it! I say if you have a freak flag....fly it...with discernment.

#2: "The Bible in the hand of one man is more dangerous than a whiskey bottle in the hand of another." From the book "To Kill A Mockingbird"

I have seen this at work. People who use the Bible to intimidate, manipulate, and hurt people. I've seen people totally destroyed because someone took a scripture out of context and pulverized another person's self esteem. People have used the Bible to create their own power trips....(shall we talk about Adolf Hitler and the Ku Klux Klan?). To be honest, these people used the Bible as a rule book and more than likely did NOT have a relationship with God. There's real danger there.

So those are a few of my favorite sayings I hate and sayings I love. What about you? Do you have any? Please share.

"Come Unity" Community!

I have some friends who have been praying about and thinking about living in community. I have some friends who "are" living in community. As a matter of fact, whether we realize it or not, most people are involved in some sort of community.

Last year I had the opportunity to work a few Fridays at our local flea market. Rogers Market, (or Rogers Mall as some of us hicks call it), has it's own community. The merchants there know one another and look out for one another. Although I was not a regular, they welcomed me as though I was one of their own immediately. They showed me the ropes and even shared their gossip with me. It was an interesting and rewarding experience. It made me want to return and continue to get to know this diverse group of people that have found community in pavilions, cement and dirt floors, fruits, vegetables, and concession stands.

My first experience living in community (not counting growing up in my Italian home with my brother and parents), was almost 30 years ago. I was in a theater troupe that toured throughout the country. The women shared a house and the men shared a house. I don't recall using the word "community", but that's exactly what it was. At one point, there were nine of us living together at the "Sisters' House". It was a large old house next door to a Catholic High School and just about one or two blocks from our local state university. It was an experience I look back on and smile.

Not to be confused with another time about three years later when I moved into another "Sisters' House" in a different town with only three other women. When I look back on this time, I spend some time smiling and some time wincing at the conflict that consistently showed itself. There were serious tumultuous times. Some knock down drag out fights. Tons of selfishness and misunderstandings. It was still community. With a dose of hysteria. Some of the guys in our church called us the "Hen House". Although some of the women were offended by the term, I thought it was funny. Believe me, feathers flew!

I find the combination of "come" and "unity" interesting. Our cry for community, as God intended, in the first house was experienced. We lived what we believed about love and forgiveness in Jesus. My other experience struggled to attain the same type of community. We were too self absorbed.

Both experiences brought me closer to God. I mean that was the whole idea, right? It didn't matter how it was accomplished, either I grew closer to God because I experienced His love and grace together with my friends or because I ran to Him for safety and understanding. Both experiences were good experiences. I still have some close relationships with a couple of these women. From both situations.

I have also lived in "community" with families. I lived with a young family for about ten months who had two small children and then about 14 years later found our own young family living with them again, in my own home. Their family having grown to seven, it was a real interesting experience. Still, we are friends to this day, although they have moved to another town.

I have experienced a sort of community at my place of employment, which is also a ministry to those who find themselves in need. We work together to minister to those in our community who need food and clothing. We experience the joy of watching God work in individuals lives. We experience the sorrow of the death of young people on drugs or the elderly we love leaving this world. We marvel at the miracle of God's provision when we are struggling to attain food for our food pantry. We have conflict. This is community. It's life with one another. It's a call to unity.

Anyone who is desiring this is desiring what God had intended for us. "It is not good for man to be alone." God wanted community for Adam so He created Eve.

Although the most easy and peaceful times of my life have been when I've lived in an apartment alone, they have not been as rich as those times with others. By "rich", I mean I have acquired a wealth of grace, love, forgiveness, mercy, strength, courage, etc. when I have had someone living beside me, walking with me in my journey.

This lifestyle is completely upside down from what our culture is use to. It is looked at as "wrong". In my line of work, if two families are lviing together under one roof, one of them is considered homeless. I NEVER considered my friends who lived with me "homeless".

Everytime I made a choice to live with someone, isn't wasn't because my current situation was bad, it was God calling me to that place. A friend of mine once asked me why I moved so much. "Were you tired of the curtains?" We got a great laugh from that. It's just not accepted as normal.

Yes, there were times, I was screaming for God to release me from certain situations. They were hard. There was conflict. But it wasn't until the conflict was resolved or at least managed, that God said "Okay, time to move on." And he did that alot.

When I was living peacfully in my little apartment and Mike and Chris asked me to live with them and their baby, I did so because I felt strongly that God was calling me to. When I moved out into a trailor by myself, it was because God was calling me to a place of solitude. Those times of solitude that God gave me were much less than the times of community. I believe the reason for that was because God intended for me to live in community.

So, I say to those friends who are considering life in community, you are considering living as God had intended. It's not good for you to be alone. He longs to create community for you. Go for it!

Shame

I have a friend who recently wrote a post on "Shame" on her blog. It was different than what I am writing today.
I want to be able to articulate my feelings in such a way that will truly tell the truth of what is in my heart.
I am poor. Not just poor in spirit. Just plain poor.
Monetarily poor. Our family lives under the national poverty income guidelines. We struggle from week to week and month to month and year to year.
Today I had a whopper of an arguement with God. I hate being poor. I told him. He said "I called you to this."
I said, "I don't WANT to be poor!"
He said, "Yes you do. You want my will."
DANG IT!
He's blessed right@!!!!
The problem isn't that being poor is bad. The problem is that being poor in this country is viewed as "shameful".
Fingers are wagged at us constantly and make us feel like we are lazy!
My husband works in a place that burns toxic waste and he sandblasts their tanks. In a hazmat suit. In ninety degree weather. And HE's LAZY????
I work for a place that serves other people just like me. I see them every day. People struggling from one pay check to another. People who have cancer and can't work. People who's children have a disability and they have to stay home and care for them. People who worked all of their lives and then had their pensions and retirement ripped away from them and can't get more than $10. a month in food stamps.
And yet we're made to feel shameful.
Well, here's what I say to you...middle class and upper class America.
SHAME ON YOU!
SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Shame on you when you roll your eyes at homeless people as you drive by in your SUV feeding your children their third McDonald's meal in the backseat of your vehicle.
SHAME ON YOU!
Shame on you when you sit watching the news on your large screen TV in your beautiful home and judge your neighbor who is sitting on their front porch with three other families living with them because they can't afford to pay rent at three different places and must share a three bedroom home for 11 people.
SHAME ON YOU!
Shame on you when you make comments about people going to food giveaways at organizations and are concerned that they may go to more than one place and get food more than once a month from someplace. It's a shame that they only go to Sam's Club to take advantage of the free samples because they can't afford to fill their cart with all the lovely bulk items that you can.
Shame on you because you can help and you don't.
You don't want to enable them. Enable them to.....survive?
So, if I've offended someone today. Well, I'm sorry.
I don't want to feel shame anymore. I want to help as much as I am able to.
I, too, am to blame for these shameful things. The shameful attitudes towards others. So shame on me.
God help us to be like You and give out of whatever we have to those who have less. And sometimes even to those who have more. Just help us to be like you.

Takin' It To The Streets by The Doobie Brothers

You don't know me but I'm your brother
I was raised here in this living hell
You don't know my kind in your world
Fairly soon the time will tell

You, telling me the things you're gonna do for me
I ain't blind and I don't like what I think I see

Takin' it to the streets
Takin' it to the streets
Takin' it to the streets
Takin' it to the streets

Take this message to my brother
You will find him everywhere
Wherever people live together
Tied in poverty's despair

You, telling me the things you're gonna do for me
I ain't blind and I don't like what I think I see

Takin' it to the streets
Takin' it to the streets
Takin' it to the streets
Takin' it to the streets

Being "Out There"

I've told this story before, but I think it's been about a year...so I'm telling it again.

About two years ago, my girlfriend and I went to a local Christian bookstore and were browsing when a certain book caught my eye. I cannot remember the title of the book, but I remember the emphasis of the tag line. It was something about how Satan is everywhere and this book was going to help you recognize him in all those places that you frequent and never realized he was there.

I must admit, I could have rolled my eyes from the store to the next county. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bla, bla, bla.

I know, I know. Satan is on TV and in movies and magazines and books and in bars and restaurants. He's behind every nook and cranny. Beware! Beware!

Okay....drama queen.

But just as quickly as these feelings assaulted me, there came a nudging from God.

"He is everywhere. But so am I, and I'm much bigger."

Hmmmm.

As if a light bulb went on, I realized the immense attack on the church. Satan is out there. He's everywhere. So make sure you're safe. Stay in the church. Drench yourself in your church activities, and Bible studies, and small groups. Go on Sunday, Sunday night, and every other night if you can. Just make sure you don't have time to.....(gasp)....go out there.

Why?

Here's the dangerous genius in this. Satan knows, that if he could keep us in church and away from everyone else.....we can't influence what's happening "out there".

You may be thinking...."yeah? so?"

This was a huge epiphany for me. (okay, so maybe I'm a bit slow). But just think.....if we spent less time in the church building and activities and more time "out there"....living like Him....loving like Him.....just...being like Him; think....what's the results.

Maybe....(and I know this may sound a bit.....fantastic)....maybe...if we were "out there" more....being like Jesus...maybe we could make huge strides in helping people see Him....know Him.....meet Him....know His love.

Now, before you grab your backpack and fill it with tracts and water bottles with scripture to throw at everyone you meet....THIS IS NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

NEWSFLASH....This is just plain annoying. People will run away when they see you coming. They'll laugh at you. In the end, you will have had less of an influence on them (as in shining God's light) and you would be more of a laughing stock. AND an annoyance!

What I'm talking about is just "being there". Living your life like...well....like Jesus actually lives inside of you. Accepting people. Loving them. Laughing with them.

So....with this. I've had an idea that I'm throwing "out there" to you and anyone you may know that may be interested in what I'm throwing at you. Got that?

Anyway....I have been, for years, wanting to start a comedy team that would go into bars, churches, parties....wherever God would open doors. It wouldn't perform "christian" stuff. It would just perform short comedy skits, much like, (sit down) Saturday Night Live or Carol Burnett (my hero). It would not be improv, because I'm not very sure I can do improv. It would perform original skits that I have written (or anyone else). They would be "safe". Thus the name of the team would be....

Squeaky Clean Comedy Relief

It would be fun, sometimes incredibly stupid, and sometimes incredibly intelligent, but the goal is.....(are you ready for this?)

To make people laugh.

(GASP!)

I'm quite serious. (I made a funny.)

So, if you are someone who is gifted in this area or interested in seeing if you are gifted in this area and being part of something like this...or have some ideas...or you are interested yourself, Please comment!

We'll be in touch and we'll talk and have coffee and brainstorm and maybe even pray. Let me know what you think.

Wanna be "out there"?

If I'm "Here"....Where is everyone else?

"The Journey"

So, let's talk about this journey that we call "life". If life is looked at as a journey, are we all on the same road?

My thoughts are "no". I believe we are all on a road, but not necessarily the same one.

I'm pretty sure that some of the people I'm closest to are not traveling in the same direction as I am. The other thing that I'm pretty sure of is that some people I don't know....some people I love....some people I don't even like.....ARE on the same road. The problem is we just don't look the same.

Here's what I'm talking about:

When I first began working at the non-profit I work at now (over six years ago), we use to have this survey sheet where we would ask people these questions. I personally felt it was very intrusive, but I asked anyway and I learned alot about people.

One of the questions was:

Do you have a relationship with God?

Then:

Do you attend church?

Interesting thing....many...I would even say MOST people answered the first question in the affirmative, but answered the second question with a resounding "NO!"

The usual reason was because people in church were hypocrites. My answer to that was usually that people in grocery stores were hypocrites, too, but I still go shopping for food. I don't think I would use this come back anymore. My view of these people has changed. I try not to judge them.

Because, really, is it more important to go to church....or to have a relationship with God?

Who are we to judge what that relationship with God looks like? If were are all on a journey called "Life" are we all in the same place?

Talk about a massive traffic jam!

If we are not in the same place, I don't think our spiritual lives will look the same. Ten years ago I was in a different place on my journey than I am now. It wasn't a bad place, it was a different place. I've moved onto a new place, but somewhere there is someone in the same place now as I was ten years ago. Can I look at them and say "Wow....they need to get it together."

YIKES! I would have been really offended if I knew someone was thinking that about me. And yet, I've heard people in the church say these very things about people who don't attend church.

Or they may say (my personal favorite) "That person needs spirituality!"

If these are your thoughts....then what you don't know about spirituality is alot!

Because these people don't sit in a service on Sunday mornings for an hour or so and sing songs about or to Jesus, they must not be "saved". (this concept, by the way, is sometimes really abused by the church).

Here's a newsflash....

There was a time that I didn't attend church and I thought about God all of the time. I talked to Him. I asked Him questions. I prayed. And yet, I didn't even know what it meant to be "saved".

I had a relationship with Him. I was quite spiritual.

Now mind you, I didn't know anyone at the time who was saved who could help me to find my way closer to God. I didn't have someone showing me the richness of the Bible. When I looked at the Bible, it was like reading a foreign language. So I didn't read it. I just wanted to know God.

Then one day someone told me God loved me and wanted to live in my heart.

Really? Seriously? THE God? Loved ME?

Hey...if The God wants to live in my heart? I'm for it!

That's pretty much what it was like. I then met people who loved me like God loved me and gently (at least sometimes it was gentle) lead me and guided me on this journey I'm on now. Sometimes, they really weren't gentle and it really put me on paths that were difficult. Sometimes I chose those paths for myself. But this is a "JOURNEY"...right? The scenery is going to change. The road will not always be straight and even. Many times it will be rocky and hilly and mountainous. Sometimes we'll be wandering around valleys or caves or tunnels. But it's MY journey. Everyone has their OWN journey.

Some of those people (the ones that were sometimes gentle and sometimes...not gentle?) have moved to different spots on the journey and I don't see them any more. But God has given me other comrades that I travel with and learn with and it's always an adventure. And it should be.

But NOT everyone is THERE. And that's good.

The last I heard, God is everywhere. So He's with them...wherever they are. He holds our hands and helps all of us maneuver the rocks and mountains, He's next to us in the caves and tunnels, He's walking with us in the valleys. And if ever our paths should meet, I don't feel like I have to pull those others off of their road and drag them to mine. Unless God leads them there, I could just love them where they are and maybe even travel with them for awhile.

But I feel I need to respect where they are and even enjoy where they are and maybe God will let me watch and enjoy their journey. And maybe we could enjoy our journeys together!

Get Your Mind (out of the pew and) Into The Gutter

Part Four
The Games People Play

When I look back on my life as a church attending Christian, I am saddened at the pressures I have placed on my spiritual siblings. Not only the ones that I was fellowshipping with in church, but the ones that didn't attend church. The ones that wanted to know their Heavenly Father, but were met with barriers that I constructed with my church games and masks.

Why? Because they just didn't do it right. They didn't use the same words or act the same way or wear the same clothes or smell right. They weren't maturing fast enough. They weren't playing by the rules. They just wanted to know God, but they didn't want to play the game. The church game.

Years ago our church was planning their annual Christmas Banquet and I went to a friend and asked if they were going to it. They looked at me irritably and said, "No, my husband and I don't want to play church anymore." When I was telling someone their answer I told him, "I didn't want to play church, I wanted to play banquet." I thought this was funny.

But the truth is, we DO play church. We have the rules and we either play by the rules or we are told that we "missed God".

What are the rules? Oh they are different in different churches. Some churches say, no smoking, no drinking, no dancing: these things will get you into hell. Some churches won't allow you to have communion with them unless you are a member of their denomination. I was once told that if I didn't lose weight I would be asked to leave the church. My weight issue was a sign that I wasn't really following God and that would make the church look bad.

Or perhaps you worship differently.

You raise your hands....you don't raise your hands.

You speak in tongues....you don't speak in tongues.

You sing and then have a teaching.....you have your teaching first.....the children stay in with you during "worship"....the children have their own worship time....you begin with coffee and donuts....THIS IS CHURCH NOT A COFFEE SHOPPE!!!!!

These are all things I've heard in church through my years there.

It's like.....Church Monopoly!

You land on a certain square...pick up the card....and it says, "You were seen smoking a cigarette outside today....I'm sorry, now go straight to hell, do not pass "Go", do not collect $200." (or something like that).

And the masks! Oh brother!

I know of people who attend church "religiously" (pun intended). They were elders and deacons in the church, but at home they were abusing their wives and their children. Some were being sexually abused.

In church they wore the mask of a Christian well.

At home they were monsters, terrorising their families.

Or how about the mask that says "I'm a great Christian...I'm getting it. I do all the right things and say the right words."

But inside they're wondering "Why? I really don't get it. Why do we do this?"

Their fear that their "brothers and sisters" may find out that they're really questioning church or ....God....helps them to keep the mask on for fear that people will think they are not really "saved".

This is why people don't go to church. This why people say the church is full of hypocrites. Because...many times....they are. I was a hypocrite.

In the Bible, they were called something else.....Pharisees.

15 "How terrible for you, teachers of the law and Pharisees! You are hypocrites! You travel across land and sea to find one person who will change to your ways. When you find that person, you make him more fit for hell than you are.

Matthew 23:15

I believe that people are hungering and thirsting for authentic Believers. People who are not afraid to be real. When people see that we as Christians are real, maybe they will believe God is real. When they see that we accept them as they are and love them, then maybe they will believe that Jesus accepts them and loves them.

There use to be a show on late night TV called "Politically Incorrect". It was during the Clinton administration and being "politically correct" was very important. On the show they would have different people from celebrities to politicians to journalists discussing the issues of the time. One night they were discussing abortion and it turned into a "crucify the Christians" fest. At one point, an actress who was a known Christian said, "Wait a minute! When did Christians become the bad guys." Bill Maher (I don't know how to spell his name), said, "When they stopped acting like Jesus."

Wow! That struck home to me. Did I stop acting like Jesus? Was I just playing a game or wearing a mask?

What about you? What do you think?

The Games People Play

Get Your Mind (out of the pew and ) Into The Gutter - Part Three

WHAT'S "THE GUTTER"?

I don't want anyone to think that my version of "the gutter" is synonymous with the traditional meaning behind "get your mind out of the gutter".
When I talk about the gutter, I'm talking about anything that is different or off the beaten track from your life.
If you are a church goer and your whole life is consumed with church activities, church people, Christian books and movies and TV shows, anything.....anything outside of those comfortable places could be "the gutter" for you.

Like I said previously, just handing out candy to "trick-or-treaters" on Halloween was stepping outside of my comfort zone for me.
For some people spending time with your non-church going neighbors at a barbecue may be stepping off of your normal path and into a place that is foreign and a little bit scary.
One thing that is important is that you don't do these things just to "seal the deal".
"Get 'em saved."
"Make 'em change!"
There is an attitude amongst some Christians (and I'm sorry to say MANY Christians I know) that we are better than them.
The "them and us" thinking is NOT pretty. Actually I find it rather ugly.
How would you feel if you found out that someone was trying to be your friend so that they could make a replica of themselves.....spending time with you so that you'll become just like them? You've discovered that they don't really like who you are and feel that you need to be someone better.....more like...them.
Personally, they wouldn't be my friend too much longer. And I certainly wouldn't want to go to their church!
But isn't that what we are doing when we make friends with people just to see them "saved"?

These people aren't "bad". They were, like you and me, created in God's image. They just live a life that may (or may not) be a bit different than ours. The "gutter" I speak of isn't "bad". It's the "unknown". It's a place you haven't been to. A place you don't frequent. That doesn't make it bad, it just makes it different.

As you're reading this, is there a place that is "the gutter" for you? It could be anywhere from a neighbor's backyard to a local shelter. Maybe God wants you to reach outside of yourself and serve at a local food pantry. Maybe God wants you to go to the library and read to children. Or like me, maybe it's time to stop hiding on Halloween and go out and meet the neighborhood.

The important thing is to go without an ulterior motive of changing anyone. Only God knows a person's heart and only God can change them. Let Him do that. We just need to love them. If there's any changing that needs done, He can handle it.

He Is Risen Indeed!

I'm going to take a break here from my "gutter" writing and just wish everyone a very blessed Easter. It is Easter! This has always been my favorite holiday. At least since I've been "saved". I love getting up early on Easter and just thinking about Mary Magdalene going to the tomb. I pictured her dark, sad shape bobbing in and out of the early morning fog; her head down, clutching her small package of anointing oils. Her heavy heart as she approaches the burial place of the one person who made the biggest difference in her life. This person who showed her the true meaning of life.
Do you have someone in your life right now like that? Someone who is your best friend? Knows you in and out and keeps all of your secrets. The person you're not afraid to say anything to and you know they will still love you, still respect you.
I imagine that this is who Jesus was to her. I'm sure He's that person to many of us, but just imagine being there with Him. Listening to Him. He cared about her like no one ever did. She was nothing until she met Him. She was dirt. And He touched her and changed her....
....and now He was dead.
How devastating this had to be. Confusing....Frustrating!
About twenty plus years ago I wrote a song about Mary going to the tomb called Sunday Mourning. Here are the words. Just imagine Mary walking to the tomb and how that day went from being the darkest morning to the most spectacular day ever!

Sunday Mourning

It's Sunday morning and it's still dark.
The skies are raining even like the crying in my heart.
And though my friends surround me....I'm so lonely.
And though the stones cut through my feet...
I don't feel a thing since You've gone away.

Oh Lord, why did You die...I can't see the reason why?
All you did was make the lame to walk, the blind to see,
The dumb to talk, the deaf to hear your words of love,
You had for this world.

And now the darkness turns to dawn. And the sky - black to gray.
I think of happier times when you were alive,
even though the tomb is just short way.
You came and you touched my heart. You took the hardness away.
You freed me from the captivity of hell.
Changed the darkness of night into the light of day!

Oh Lord, why did you have to die....I can't see the reason why?
All You did was set the captives free,

Changed the water into wine at a wedding feast

Fed the people with a few fish and bread

You even raised the dead.

And now I see the tomb calling me.
I've got my oils for anointing.
Just to touch you one last time...but something's wrong!
The stone's been rolled away and I feel so afraid!

OH NO! Where did the body go?! All that's left are the grave clothes!
And the light's so bright that I can't see!
Who's talking to me saying "He's alive, He's risen from the dead,
Come see the place where He did lay."

I must go! This can't be so!
I must try to find His body so I can see Him one last time...
There's the gardener...I'll ask him.
"Tell me, sir, do you know where they took my Lord."

(Music changes from minor key to light guitar and flute)

It is You. Rabbi, is it true? You're alive? Can I touch you?
Yes, I'll go! I'll tell the others it's so!
That You're alive! You've risen!
He's Alive!
He's Risen from the dead, he's alive!
(repeat)

Well that's it. I wish you could hear it. It was the hardest song I ever wrote, because it was so exciting, I had to stop several times and take a break or I would burst. I don't think I could sing it again, the range is so all over the place and my 52 year old voice isn't anymore. But I do hope it inspires you this Easter and brings you closer to your Risen Savior. He's really a cool dude!
Happy Easter!

Get Your Mind (out of the pew and) Into The Gutter

The title of this post is a mouth-full, but it is something that I feel very passionate about. A friend of mine recently began talking about the church "being sent". For me, this means leaving the comfort of their church pews and getting out of their church shaped box.

I know, for me, for many years, my life was centered around "church". Brick and mortar church. The institution, the programs, the meetings, the Christian friends. I did not have time for anything else. I heard about evangelism, but found that it just didn't work for me. I had too much going on. I had the worship team and drama team, the women's ministry team, Sunday school and small groups, homeschooling with my other Christian homeschooling friends, not to mention my family responsibilities. My husband and children fell in there.....somewhere. That was my life. For nearly 17/18 years.

And then something happened. Our church began a Sunday school class based on the book that centered on "becoming a contagious Christian" (or was it courageous Christian?). Anyway, we began to talk about leading our friends, families, and neighbors to the Lord. My eye twitches to this day, when I remember some of the idealistic ideas of my Christian friends. Many, if not most, of these people had grown up in "church attending" families and homes. They just thought, "become someones friend and within a few months you could lead them to Jesus." This meant sharing the four spiritual laws with them, quoting them scripture and they would fall on their knees and give their lives over to God. They apparently did not know the same people as me.

Someone I love very much said to me (concerning the Bible), "Do you really believe everything you read in that book?" Wow! I bet quoting scripture to them would just REALLY change their heart.

I'm sorry about my sarcasm, but this "Christian Bubble Bible" thinking, to me, is incredibly unrealistic and I believe the reason so many people just don't want to attend church. I just do not think the "formulas" work anymore.

I do believe in the power of the Bible. I also believe that just loving a person where they are goes a long way. I have heard too many Christian being more concerned about their non-church-going friends "changing" than just "loving" them where they are at.

For me, it's not just about leaving the pew and going out to pass out tracts, it's about accepting people where they are. Loving them "in the gutter". In the dirty and broken places of their hearts. Just "loving" them. Accepting them.

This is who Jesus is. This is how He loves us. The last I heard, Christians are suppose to be like Him.

Don't you want to be loved no matter what? No matter how you feel or act?

I do. And I am. By Jesus.

So I will be writing about this......"gutter" thinking. And, really, I want to know your opinion, so please comment.

Ah Lent....Ah Yes! "Give It Up For God!"

Okay, this is a subject that I think, many times, individuals look at differently. I grew up Catholic. I haven't been Catholic in over 35 years. I quit going to the Catholic Church for the very spiritual reason of: I had to wear a dress and I couldn't wear pants. I was 15.

Anyway, I don't recall giving anything up for Lent as a child. I strongly suspect, that if I did, I usually gave up after one or two days and went back to being the spiritual sluggard that I was as a child. When I got "saved" and began going to Charismatic Churches, "fasting" was looked on as "legalistic". It was something only traditional churches did. Then when I began going to a "seeker sensative" Nazarene Church, I gave up TV one Lent. It was very difficult because it was during the 2nd season of "Survivor". Anyone who knows me, I am a die hard "Survivor" addict. My Mom and Aunt Pauline and all my male relatives are crazy about football. I am just as crazy about "Survivor". I yell at the screen, I talk to the competitors, I moan and groan at their obvious stupidity at believing blatent liars: it's literally a spiritual thing for me. So giving up TV that Lent was a huge for me.

For the past four years I've given up eating solid foods during the day and only eating a meal (or a meal and ten snacks) after 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon. Being a diabetic, I've been very careful to check my sugar, I drink juice and have a glucerna shake for lunch to make sure I keep my sugars in control. Not only has this been good spiritually for me, but it has always been good for me physically.

Now there are those who believe that a person should not go on this type of a "fast" to lose weight. That "fasting" (in the Biblical sense), should be for spiritual reasons alone. I look at it this way. I believe that God created man to be "spiritual" and that we choose to lean toward the "flesh" side of things when we choose to go our own direction instead of God's direction. Eating, for me, is not only "physical", but "spiritual". Why? Because I have made it an "idol". I think about food all of the time. I wake up thinking about it. I plan meals when I should be working. I consume not only food, but cooking shows and recipes and will talk about it with friends and family and acquantices and even strangers with incredible passion and enthusiasm. Now what if I transferred that same passion and enthusiasm to God. I consumed the Bible and planned time with God and talked about Him all of the time. Man, I'ld be a real spiritual giant, wouldn't I. So I feel that when a person "fasts" something that means that much to them, that they deny those things that strengthen the "flesh" and they strengthen the "spiritual" in their lives.

My problem isn't with my outward appearance, it's with how much food I consume and the way I think about it all of the time. So I don't fast to lose weight, I fast to help me control my "eating" and to grown closer to God in the process.

You know what I find strange? I've chosen now to begin a blog focusing on the food I grew up eating. It includes recipes and so I find that I'm still thinking about food. I guess the difference is, I write about it, I don't consume it.

So now that I've said all of this, how are you dealing with Lent? Have you given something up? What do you think?

Check Out My New Blog....Contento Cuisine

Contento, Salamida, and Ciavarella. These are the families that influenced who I am and how and what I ate. Come and read about us and see the recipes of the food that was and is a part of who we are.

There are pictures and stories about our family and recipes of the foods we loved. Check it out!

"Blissfully Free......"

I am in a mood!


This morning my husband said to me something about me having "a pirate's ransom of emotions." I quickly countered. I told him he was "blissfully free of the ravages of intelligence."


Actually, I've been feeling "blissfully free of the ravages of intelligence".


The truth is, I feel dumb. That's right....dumb. I have friends who went to seminary or Nazarene schools. Their knowledge of the Bible is amazing or they just know big words. They talk about the alumni.


Me? I graduated from high school....just barely. I took a couple of college classes back in the 70's. One was shorthand and the other was typing. I did ace them both and had a 3.60 average. Truth is....I don't think shorthand exists anymore and typing is now called "keyboarding". So alot of good it has done me.


I went to beauty school. I did finish. It took me three times to pass my state boards. But I hate doing hair. I finished school because my father said I wouldn't. (I never finished anything).


So here I am. I'm 52 and dumb.


I'm not writing this to let the world know what an idiot I am. I'm just feeling very insecure about my future. I also feel insecure about my relationships with people. I've heard people make very unpleasant and insulting remarks about people who do not have a college degree. And I have sat there fuming, but unable to think of anything to say that would sound....(oh dear God).....intelligent.


I feel like....if these people knew how uneducated I was....would they still be my friends? Or would they think less of me? I really think they would ( think les of me). I've heard how they talk about uneducated people.


There is a glimmer of hope here. I heard in church recently (and I knew this, but it just never clicked) that Jesus's apostles were uneducated men and look at the impact they made on this world. They were lousy, stinkin' fishermen. At least that is what people probably thought about them. They didn't know the Torah.


I wish I could remember that little piece of information when certain people are going on and on about how unproductive a person is unless they have a degree. But then again, the person I'm thinking of really would care less about the apostles.


I guess I just needed to write and, lucky you, you get to read about it.


I wouldn't mind going to school now. I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up and financially it would be impossible. I just think that now, at the age I'm at, I could sit and focus and not be thinking about the guy two rows over or where my friends and I are going tonight. I really wasn't ready for school, back in the day. I think I am now.


Great. Just a few years shy of retirement. (sigh)

"A Chicken In Every Pot"

Tonight as I was playing my nightly game of solitaire, my mind kept wandering to the class my husband and I are taking together. It is called "Getting Ahead in a Getting By World" (or something like that). It is to help us get out of the cycle of just "getting by".

I'm not a politician. I only took a couple of secretarial classes at YSU about 30 years ago. I DO have a high school diploma.

Here's my point. When the steel mills closed, and, over the years, all the other industry was moved overseas, even I, with my limited education, could see the downfall of our economy.

Our country was a "middle class" country and we were proud of it. Remember "a chicken in every pot and two cars in every garage"? The land of opportunity? That was because we were a thriving middle class culture. Factories and industries flourished and provided our populace with employment that put "a chicken in every pot and two cars in every garage".

So when the bulk of that industry was shipped overseas because of this country's greed, (I guess we wanted ten chickens, a BMW, and a Mercedes).....even I could see where this would lead.

All those jobs....LOST!

All those people....unemployed.

Our middle class is decreasing and our lower class is growing by leaps and bounds and few of them, if any, don't even have a pot to pee in, let alone a chicken.

Our welfare system.....ho boy! What a mess....if by chance someone in a lower class gets a job that pays minimum wage, we take their food stamps away and any benefits they have so that it is virtually impossible for them to get ahead. So many just remain unemployed, so that they could feed their families and get health insurance for them.

Here's my question (I got sidetracked), if I could see this coming as an uneducated individual...how come the people who voted to send this work away didn't see this coming?

What did they think was going to happen to all those people working in those factories?

I don't know when I got so frustrated with this country and the way things have been crumbling. Maybe when in January of 2006 I (as a food pantry director) gave food to 45 families.

Or maybe it was when, in January 2007, I gave food to 65 families.

Or maybe it's this year, on January 29, I have given food to over 127 families just this month.

Or maybe it's when my children must get reduced lunches (at school) and we have a hard time scraping up the $2 a week for that!

I've never been one to argue politics. I've never felt smart enough and that everyone is entitled to their opinion. But, it's becoming clearer and clearer to me where this country is headed and it's NOT a pretty picture.

So much for the "land of opportunity".

So what do we do? How do we change things? CAN things change? What do you think? Go ahead....I could take it!