Sunday, September 28, 2008

Is The Church Homophobic?

Our church is going through a series from a book called "They Love Jesus But Not The Church". This book asks the church a few hard questions. These questions will cause your church to take a good look at themselves and maybe challenge themselves in the way they have presented themselves AND Jesus to their communities.
This week the question asked was "Is the church homophobic?" I remembered something that had happened to me awhile back.

About five years ago, I met a woman that really made me think about how the church treats members of the gay community. This woman came to me for assistance. She was a single woman in her late thirties. A little masculine in her appearance.

At the time the ministry I'm a part of had this questionnaire form that I was suppose to use at each interview. I did not like the form because I felt that is was intrusive. (I may have told you about this form before).

The thing I did like about the form was that I did get to know people better. One of the questions was "Do you attend church anywhere?"

When I asked this woman this question she said "no", she did not attend church and then proceeded to tell me why.

She said she was gay and not welcome in most churches. She had been treated with hostility in the past.

I told her my feelings. I told her that I knew what the Bible said about homosexuals, but it also said the greatest commandment was to "love the Lord with all of your heart" and then "Love your neighbor as yourself". I try to love people.

She told me the reason she was struggling with provisions was because she had a niece living with her that was a teenager and pregnant. I got the feeling that the young girl had been ostracized by her family and that her aunt took her in out of the goodness of her heart.

There it is!

The goodness of her heart!

This woman had a good heart. Her niece came in a few minutes later and you could see the love and appreciation in her eyes towards her aunt who was now struggling financially because she had opened her home to her. Months later, I would see them again, when the girl's baby was a toddler. The aunt was more of a grandma to this baby than a great aunt. And they were a very close family unit. You could feel the love when they were together.

And some in the church say "Gays are bad.....the church is good."

I'm confused. I have known more than one good church family who has thrown a teenage daughter out of the house and onto the street because she became pregnant and spoiled their "good Christian name".

I feel that this woman who is gay seemed to personify the character of Jesus more than those "good Christian" families who felt their names had been spoiled by a teenager's poor judgement.

Here's how I feel: it's time to look at these people who call themselves gay and spend some time with them. Get to know them. Most of them have good hearts and are deserving of our respect and the love that God has so freely shown us.

This is not about sin. Everyone sins. Gay people sin, good Christian families sin, priests sin...(oops...did I say that out loud?)

This is about loving and accepting human beings that were created, like you and me, in the image of Christ.

What do you think? Do you KNOW someone who is gay? What kind of impression have they left on you? How well do you know them? I'd love your opinion about this!

4 comments:

Carl said...

This is a subject we all need to take a hard look at. Can we grade sin and if we can, who decides. Have not we all sinned and fallen short of God's glory? Can sin separate us from the love of God? How much sin will it take to remove us from the posibility of God's grace and love? Many years ago I tried to study with those who were teaching on the subject of how to reach the homosexual. I read everything I could find on the subject and it just did not ring true for me. I even tried to debate my gay friends who were christians. It did not work. I'm sure there are many explanations in "the church", you know the one that is a building with people inside (as opposed to the one that is people with Christ inside) to explain what is wrong with those who are gay, but I am not sure I can trust their validity. How about when Jesus called his disciples. Did ask them before he said follow me, and by the way can you confirm or deny your sexual orientation? I don't think so. There were no strings attached. I would hope that we would focus our attention on the love of God, not the sin of men.

Dave and Betsy's Blog said...

Thanks for being bold enough to blog about this Carla. I really enjoyed Dave's facilitating on this yesterday. My mom came and we had a wonderful lunch conversation after church about how by in large the church just isn't talking about these subjects and certainly not doing a good job at loving first. For my mom, her church's deal was that she had been divorced. A pastor called her when she started dating her now husband and asked her if she should really do that. Overstepping boundaries!! My mom never went back, kept dating John and luckily married the love of her life! All that church accomplished was losing 2 wonderful people from their congregation.

Melinda said...

I have spent alot of time with people who are gay. I was the director of an organization that provided housing for people with AIDS when HIV was something "those" people got. One of my friends of more than 22 years is gay and living in a committed relationship. And then we all know about my ex-husband.... Here is my two cents - I think that many gay people are born "that way", it isn't a choice, it is an aberation, just like club foot, cleft palate and a thousand other deformities descending on man as a result of original sin. I think where homosexuality becomes a sin is when it is acted upon through sex outside of marriage. How many seats in the church would be filled if those who had sex outside of marriage were excluded??? Hate the sin, love the sinner. Who among us can throw the first stone??? - Melinda

Elizabeth said...

Carla,
Hey there sister! I stumbled across your blog from reading your Facebook status. I'm so glad to know that you too are a fellow blogger.
I have to also say, "WAY TO GO!" I just recently wrote a post over on my blog (and I'll leave you a link to that post) about this very issue. My post was more about the gay community who claim to be Christians, but the principal is the same that you have spoke on. I get very frustrated when people condemn someone simply because they are gay. I have been quoted many, MANY times lately as saying "Sin, is SIN". What makes a person who is struggling with lying or stealing or pornography any different than someone who is struggling with being gay? God calls us to love one another, to be His example. Quite frankly, when it comes to this issue I think the church has it all wrong and has not been setting a very good example.
I enjoyed reading what you had to say and I so look forward to your next post!

In Him,
Beth

http://canyouseeinside.blogspot.com/2008/09/somethings-i-do-not-understand.html