......Actually, right now, we would probably be on our way home from church. Normally, Ken and I like to go to New Hope on Saturday evenings and relax on Sunday mornings. Last night when he said "let's go tomorrow", I was okay with it. But then this morning I was exhausted. I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed and go to church and then spend the rest of the day rushing around to the other events that were planned for today: a volunteer appreciation dinner for a non-profit that I'm currently serving on their board of directors and a concert where a food drive is being held for the non-profit that I work for. I wanted to be at both events, and the thought of running to church and then running home and cleaning the kitchen (which didn't get totally finished last night) and .....oh well. I just couldn't do it.
I have a friend who went through some serious introspection and doubts when her children desired to attend a church that she did not feel comfortable in. Her sorrow was palpable. She struggled and struggled. She and her husband went to the church in question with their, then, teenage children, but they just didn't like it. It was very non-traditional and they were very traditional. When I suggested they just let their children go where they wanted and they continue to attend the church THEY liked, she stated with no hesitation "No. Our family needs to be together for church."
At what cost? Eventually, they just continued at the traditional church and I felt sorry for her children. After fifteen years of Catholic church, where I was totally bored and acted out in horrific ways (puppet shows with my mittens during the liturgy, talking and giggling.....you know, regular sinful behaviour), my mother finally said "Do what you want." I am so grateful to her. Catholic Church, although the ONLY church for my very traditionally Catholic Italian family, just did NOT suit me. I couldn't sit still that long. Okay, sit still....stand.....sit still....stand...kneel.....sit still.....stand.....chant....(in Latin).....it just was NOT me. For me it just didn't have to do with God. I'm assuming, for them, it did.
When the Charismatic church was born (again, get it?), I fit in just fine. They actually LIKED puppet shows, (at least at the right time). I could be myself and their teachings went right to my heart.
I guess the point I'm making is....um.....geez....what was I talking about. See what I mean? My mind is just not in one place long enough to stay on the subject.
Oh, yeah....I didn't go to church (today) because I have so much going on this week and I needed some time at home and YES that included writing this blog. It relaxes me, it helps me to focus (more than usual). I needed to clean my bathroom and kitchen and not rely on a sixteen year old who will do ANYTHING to get out of it, including lying and saying she DID it.
Going to a service on Sunday morning or Saturday evening does NOT define my relationship with Jesus. It may encourage me in that relationship, but I don't rely on it to BE my relationship. I rely on turning my heart to God no matter where I'm at: in a church building, grocery store, in front of my computer, or at work dishing out Thanksgiving Dinner. Jesus is with me all of the time, not only when I'm at church. He is with me now.
And what right do I have to tell anyone, including my children, that they MUST worship like me and in the same way that I worship. Shouldn't I encourage them in their OWN relationship with God. My relationship with God looks totally different than my traditional Italian family's idea of a relationship with God and yes, there was a time that I think they may have want to judge me because of it, but not anymore. I pursued God in spite of what I thought they thought and I developed that relationship (with God) with the help of people who loved me, accepted me, and allowed me to live my spiritual life the way God intended me to. In the way God created me to live it. I feel that I owe my children and anyone else the same respect and consideration.
Ken and I attend a church called New Hope, a non-traditional Nazarene Church (yes, Virginia, there is such a thing). My son goes to the same church, periodically, on his own. My daughter attends church at a non-denominational church that meets in an old school across the street from our house. She also attends about 3-4 different youth groups. She is all about loving Jesus. I'm okay with my children's journeys. We all have a journey....a journey that I believe is meant to be spiritual all of the time....I call it "my life". Our lives will not always look the same, maybe at times it will, but not all of the time, and that's okay. I believe that is the way God meant for this world to be. A lot of different people, walking differently, living differently and yet each being a reflection of God. I think when we believe that, God gets bigger and bigger and brighter and brighter. It excites me.
Anyway, as I was saying, I didn't go to church this week, but I think I'll BE the church this week and love and respect my fellow brothers and sisters no matter what their life looks like. I'll pray that they find God and meet him this week in a way that will make an eternal difference in their lives.
