Jesus Appearing...in the bathroom....on the counter....in marble....true story....sort of

Do you remember the episode of "Friends" when Phoebe was channeling a woman who refused to "cross over" until she experienced everything? She crossed over when Phoebe went to a gay wedding. She said, "Now I've seen everything." and was gone.

If I had chosen this philosophy, I would join her, because what I heard on our local news this week made me want to say the same thing...."Now I've seen everything."

I have to admit, God has joined me in the most bazaar places. And many times....MANY times...I've heard his still small voice speaking to me while I was in my bathroom. Let's face it, it's one of the few times in one day I am alone and able to hear ANYTHING!

And, yes, I've seen what seemed to be his face in the grain of wood in my paneling and in the way the cement floor swirls in some places. I believe you could see or hear God wherever you want to or HE wants you to.

But this week, on our local news, a woman says she saw Jesus' face in the swirl of her marble topped counter in her bathroom. And here's what got me....the local TV news people went to her house and interviewed her. (Seriously? Iraq wasn't exciting enough for you?)

The first time I saw the news and they zoomed in on her counter, I didn't see it. The second time....Lo and behold, there He was! Looking majestic, his head tilted ever so slightly up towards the heavens... (true story).

Okay....I really don't have a problem with this woman saying she saw Jesus in her countertop. I mean I DID see something that looked like his face...just like I did in my paneling....BUT...

Bring the media out? And here's the clincher.....she feels this is her answer from God for her financial troubles and is selling her counter on E-BAY for a whopping $50,000. (She will send her daughter to college on this). I also noticed that when they interviewed her, she did not allow her face to be seen and was only presented in a sillouette.


My friend, and Pastor, talks alot about the church having a consumer mentality. We become Christians and go to church to "get something" for ourselves. I myself remember saying of my old church that "I was tired of cookies and milk and in need of meat and potatoes." I went to church "for me". It was ALL ABOUT ME!

This is a striking example of the consumer mentality. Not only does she want something from Jesus, but she's selling Him for $50,000. (I mean that is what she wants......money).

I struggle with this whole thing. I mean is this woman genuine? Am I belittling her desire to send her daughter to college? I don't wish to belittle anyone. But to me this is ridiculous. Again....it's not about what she saw. It's about what she did with what she saw. It's about making Jesus a product.

Have we done this to Jesus? Have we reduced Him to our "quick fix" for all of our troubles? Is that all He is?

Is this REALLY God's answer to her financial woes? I suppose there may have been a time that I may have even gone and worshiped at the altar of marble at the bathroom counter. I am now seeing how shallow I have been. That my relationship with God should be about "a relationship with God." Not about "what could I get from Him today."

Also, I must confess, I have a friend, who, as a teenager said he had seen the Blessed Mother and I believe him. He is not a sensationalist. He's just normal guy who loves God. He did NOT go to the media or run around trying to get attention. And yet, word got out. And when he tried to go to a certain church, they told him that they didn't want that sort of stuff in their church and turned him away at the door. He was incredibly hurt and embarrassed. He did NOT sign up for this.

So, I'm torn. I believe this friend of mine has a good heart. By the way, he eventually found a great church and has been attending it for years. But it was not his intention to create a bunch of drama.

But then there's these people....I went into Google to see if I could find a picture of this miracle. I found out that Jesus has a appeared in alot of bathrooms. Also a burrito, MRI, ultrasound, chimichanga and the underside of a dog's belly. As humorous as this sounds....

Tell me what YOU think. Do you think these people are just trying to get attention? Do they really believe God is sending them a message? What do you think?

So....what grates on YOUR nerves? Sayings I Hate and Sayings I Love.

There are a few sayings that seriously make me want to spit. When people say them, I roll my eyes and usually say some crazy sarcastic something and then they probably walk away clicking their tongues and committing me to prayer. So I will tell you the ones I hate and some that I love and I want to here your "faves" (she said sarcastically).

HATED

#1: "All I want is for you to be happy."

Did you ever watch a TV show or a movie or even (gulp) said this to your children? I just can't believe that anyone would want just "happiness" for their children! Seriously? On more than one occasion, I've been known to give the TV the raspberries because of this line on a show. My husband loves to tell my children: "Remember, your mother doesn't want you happy, she wants you miserable....now go clean your room!"

WHY?

Do you wonder why we have produced a generation of video game playing, temper tantrum throwing, selfish individuals? I'm sure that last statement pretty much says it all and it's not that I want my kids to be UNhappy. It's just that I want SO MUCH MORE for them.

I want them to be: considerate, generous, courageous, loving, giving, full of grace and forgiveness, smart, wise discerning, creative, etc.

Do you see what I mean? When you tell a child that ALL you want is for them to be happy then all they will EVER DO is pursue happiness (for themselves and no one else).

This is why parenting is so hard. If I just wanted my kids to be happy all I would have to do is give them whatever they want and watch them smile and giggle. Let me tell you, throwing candy at a video game playing 22 year old and watching him giggle and suck his thumb is not a pretty picture to me. I want my kids to grow up to be responsible adults.

#2: "When your children are little they step on your toes, when they're older they step on your hearts."

Seriously, telling this to the parent of teenagers does not help. At least not me. Usually these "words of wisdom" are thrown at me when I'm telling someone how my kid just ripped my heart out of my chest and did a flamingo dance on it. I really don't want to hear your cute little saying. I need more than this. I need help (maybe drugs?)

#3: "I don't pray for patience because then I'm going to NEED it."

Well that's just brilliant. I got a newsflash for you. That thing that's going to happen that makes you impatient is going to happen whether you pray for patience or not. I'm thinkin' you BETTER be praying for patience instead of handling that little gem on your own.

#4: "Woman of God"

How could someone who loves God HATE this phrase?! I guess it happened when someone came to my house one time and saw how unkept it was and wouldn't speak to me for weeks because they thought I was "a woman of God". Then they saw my house was messy and they changed their opinion of me. Mind you, they came to help me move and were mortified to find that we were not prepared with all of our boxes packed and the house swept and ready. It was then, that this phrase being thrown around made my eye twitch.

Oh NO! Wait! It was before that! It was when I was having coffee with a friend and she commented on my two other friends about what "women of God" they were and then she said, "And you're so funny." I HATE this phrase!

Now for a couple of sayings I LOVE

#1: "You know what your problem is? You've got a freak flag and you're just not flying it." From the movie "The Family Stone"

Yep! I've got to admit it and you may find it hard to believe, there are days I DON'T fly my freak flag. It's true. In my line of work, I meet with city officials, pastors, commissioners, judges and flying a freak flag COULD be detrimental. But the truth is: I'm a freak! And I love it! I say if you have a freak flag....fly it...with discernment.

#2: "The Bible in the hand of one man is more dangerous than a whiskey bottle in the hand of another." From the book "To Kill A Mockingbird"

I have seen this at work. People who use the Bible to intimidate, manipulate, and hurt people. I've seen people totally destroyed because someone took a scripture out of context and pulverized another person's self esteem. People have used the Bible to create their own power trips....(shall we talk about Adolf Hitler and the Ku Klux Klan?). To be honest, these people used the Bible as a rule book and more than likely did NOT have a relationship with God. There's real danger there.

So those are a few of my favorite sayings I hate and sayings I love. What about you? Do you have any? Please share.