Organic Community - The Way I See It

For the past two days the word "organic" has been filtering through my thoughts. In and out. I am finally sitting down to write.

When I began to meet with a house church in 2005, there were a few words that kept coming up in conversation that I just didn't know what people were talking about.

Missional
Ermergent
Organic community

It has taken a few years, but I think I am finally understanding what these words mean.

Now I'm not going to say "all churches should be this way", but I will say, "This is what I believe....." and you can form your own opinion.

I do want to say, that some church people have a bad habit of finding these great buzz words and using them without taking into account that there may be those around you who don't know what you are talking about.
No matter how many times I asked what these words meant, I just couldn't understand. I'm not sure the people who were using them knew what they were about.

But the last two days, I've been thinking a lot about the church being "organic". Alive....breathing.....

Now some people may think that the church is always "alive", but my experiences in the church over the past 54 years, has taught me that this isn't always the case.

I have found that, at times, the church can actually squelch something that God is trying to bring to life, because it doesn't fit the mold they are use to. But I don't want to talk about what the church has done, I want to talk about this Living, Breathing, Organic church.

Now remember, this is how I see it. If you don't see it the same, that's fine.

I see something that is organic as something that is born of the Holy Spirit. It is something "free forming" and it doesn't fit into a mold or a box. You cannot create a model of it. It usually doesn't follow three points. It just ......IS. It is something that happens, not because you PLANNED it to happen, but because God breathed LIFE into it.
So if a church or community of Believers is organic, is it something WE can create?

I think it is something we can desire. I think it is something we can pray for. I think we can pursue it with a passion. But I'm not sure WE can make it happen.

I think we can pursue relationships and something can happen and it is organic.

I think something that is organic is moved and created by the Holy Spirit like a set of chimes is moved and the music it makes is created by the wind.

Not only are the chimes I own beautiful sounding and the music they make is from the wind, but they were made out of recycled materials by my husband. But that is another blog post...maybe in about a week.

We live in a society, culture, country that wants to see progress and perfection AND we want to see it fast. But in the real world, that is a rare thing. Progress takes time and perfection is usually disappointing, because it's never really perfect, especially when it comes to human beings. I think that's why an organic church is so hard to see. We get tired of waiting for what we "think" it should look like and begin to try to create something on our own. We usually end up with something that is NOT organic. WHY? Because we didn't let the Spirit work, we did it ourselves.

Again, these are just MY thoughts.

Some examples of organic community that I have seen are anything but perfect. WHY? Because they involve less than perfect human brings. There's a men's group that meets at our local Inn called BOB (Band OF Brothers). I'm not sure when it began to meet, and I don't even really know the guys in it, but it is a good example of organic community. It has lasted a while. There are strong relationships where these brothers are accountable to one another without being oppressive. Some churches may look at them a bit sideways and wonder about them, some of them don't "look" like your normal church goer, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter to them. And it certainly doesn't matter to God, because He knows better than anyone.....their hearts.

Organic may not look or feel nice, but I believe it is REAL. It is true. It is LIFE.

So these are my thoughts on organic community. I have a lot more, but I don't have a lot of time to just sit and write. I would love to hear YOUR thoughts on organic community. What do you think?

"DOUBT!"

This past week, I rented a DVD of a movie that seemed to hit me in the most personal way. I did not see it coming. The movie was "Doubt".

Other than being an incredibly well made movie....the best of actors and their performances....and a very good plot line....it was, well, disturbing on so many levels.

The movie takes place one year after the assassination of President Kennedy in a Catholic school. It's about a priest who is accused of an inappropriate relationship with an eighth grade African American student and the battle between him and the principal of the school, played by Meryl Streep.

You see, I was in the 4th grade in a Catholic School the year after President Kennedy was shot. Oddly enough, the name of the school was the same as the one in the movie, St. Nicholas.

I did not expect the movie to be so emotional for me. During a scene when Meryl Streep as Sister Aloysius enters one of the classrooms and the students jumped to their feet in fear, I found my heart racing and my throat dry. It was a little too close to home.

The only difference between the nuns in this movie and the nuns that taught me through my eight years at St. Nick's was bonnets versus veils. Our nuns wore the long black veils that billowed back when they quickly walked towards a student to scare the life out of them.

Yes, it's true. There was many a time that the nuns' main method of discipline was intimidation. Believe me that's putting it mildly. They were at times so unreasonable and irrational that they were viewed by the students as "the enemy". Let's face it...some people should NOT teach children. But what else did nuns do back in the 1960's? They weren't working at hot dog shops, grocery stores or in offices. It was teach or nurse.

I gotta tell ya...Meryl Streep's performance was phenomenal. She was terrifying. Unbending and stiff necked. She was a true Catholic nun.

Now I know that some of you out there are probably feeling offended by my description of nuns and I wish I could tell you that my treatment was different than what I am insinuating, but I cannot.

Yes, there were those nuns who were decent...like Sister Patricia McNicholas. She ended up starting the Beatitude House in Youngstown that helps single women and their children to move towards an education and self sufficiency. She was my eighth grade teacher and I can't say I have any complaints towards her. There was also Sister Wanda who was rumored to have had a mental breakdown due to the stresses of teaching the junior high students. This.....I believe. We were the worst kind of kids. I remember her as being sweet and easy to be around.

But then I remember Sister Anita who slapped me across the face because she warned me, after yelling at me, that I better not cry or else. I cried....she slapped. I was in the first grade.

There was the principal who made me take my pierced earrings out because they were inappropriate in the 6th grade. Actually, I was only wearing the wire....there was no decoration on it. But she held it in her hand and announced to everyone that they were huge.

But the worst or the worst (I'm not sure if that is correct grammar and I don't care), was when, a few years ago, I discovered that the boy who sat in front of me all during those eight years had been sexually molested by one of the priests. He and his brother were altar boys and finally after over 35 years, brought it out in the open and on the news. I found this very disturbing and even felt a little guilty.

Really? What could I have done even if I had known? We were children. Innocent children who were at the mercy of "the church". Not JUST the church, but the " one and only Catholic Church".

Please understand, I do NOT hate the Catholic Church. But my memories are not fraught with fun and warmth. I'm sorry, but it's true. The uniforms, the pews, the confessionals, all give me the creeps. I don't have alot of fond memories.

Oh wait....I do. The only times I ever got detention in school was when I was fulling around during mass. I would make my mittens into puppets and do puppet shows to the liturgy. It was hysterical. I got a week's detention. Good times....good times.

Recess was fun. I liked it........hmmmmm. Let me think......no....I got kicked out choir because I was accused of singing soprano instead of alto. So choir was not a good time. Actually to this day, I dislike singing in a choir. I won't do it.

There WAS my eighth grade teacher Mr. Very, who offered to help me with my science fair project. I was going to prove evolution. He offered to take me to YSU to get some animal sculls to exhibit. I just thought he was being a pervert. Come on I was 13, what do you expect.....rational thinking?

Yeah, so I had my issues too. I wasn't completely without some guilt.

But, the movie "Doubt" really brought that whole period of my life back to me.

I would suggest the movie to anyone who went to Catholic school during the 60's. Make sure you have your rosaries. (Just kidding).

It's Madness....Madness, I tell ya! Main Street Madness!!!!!

MAIN STREET MADNESS: that's the name of our new comedy group!

I know that it's been a while since I've written. I have a new thing in my life that is keeping me very busy. Yes, it's true. I'm reading fortunes now.

Just kidding!

This past weekend the new comedy team that I am a part of debuted for comedian Ron McGehee. This is one of my favorite characters, Natasha, Gypsy Queen.

My daughter did my make up and my husband made "crystal ball" out of a fish bowl and a tap light.

So now that I'm writing for this theater group, I'm really having a hard time finding the time to write in either of my blogs. I thought it only fair that I keep you updated.

This performance was just a preshow. It was about 20 minutes long and it was a combination of live on stage sketches and video.

The pictures are from our dress rehearsal. You may see some people you know. I worked with a great group of actors who were willing to go out on a limb and give their all in their performances. I was very proud of each of them.

I've tried to upload the video, but I don't think it's working. Maybe some day I'll figure it out.

On May 16 at 9:00 AM we will have auditions for a full length variety show in the fall. If you know of anyone interested, just tell them to come to Main Street Theater.

Anyway, hope to see you at the theater soon!

BABY CAMELS, ARMY BOOTS, DREAMS, AND LOSING SLEEP

It is nearly 2:30 AM and I am sitting at my laptop in my unheated dowstairs to tell you about a dream I just had that is keeping me awake. I believe that God has a message in it for us all. It's been a long time since I have had such a dream that I have felt so strongly is from Him.

I don't really watch the news that much anymore. I'm not sure why. I don't read papers. We can't afford to get them. But apparently God wants me to remember that our country is at war.

Here's the dream:

Ken, my husband, my two children Nick and Olivia and I were walking towards our car which was parked on a deserted dusty road. My son, Nick, was about 14 and my daughter was around 12. Nick ran ahead to get into the car, but when he got to the car a very strange thing met him there. Blocking his way was a baby camel with a pair of army boots in it's mouth. My husband immediately assessed the situation and ran to him. He ripped the army boots out of the baby camel's mouth and then swung them and struck the camel with the boots. The camel broke out into a very loud and terrible wail. It's mouth open, it looked accusingly at us and sobbed, sounding very much like a crying adolescent. It trotted away, glaring at us as it went and it's cries faded as it rounded the corner of the road.

I cannot remember why, but my husband and I found ourselves walking through this all American neighborhood. The kind of neighborhood I grew up in in the 50's and 60's. Middle class homes, Cape cods and ranches neatly side by side in a quaint suburban setting. No one was on the streets. I could hear the sound of our shoes echoing against the pavement and everything seemed very eerie. As we walked through this community something struck me. I could see the people who lived in the homes. And although the neighborhood was quite American, the people were all Middle Eastern. It was very strange to see them in this setting, interacting with one another. Eating dinner, watching TV, playing games, talking. Not one "American" looking individual. And then, as we passed one of the streets, there it was, trotting away from us, as if taking inventory of it's homes; the baby camel.

We walked faster, seeing our car in the distance, a feeling of terror rising in us.

When we got to the car, we thought Nick was in it, but he wasn't. We didn't know where Olivia had gone. When we looked towards the street we had just walked down, our son was coming towards us, looking frightened. He walked faster and right before he got to us he said, "Is it really you?"

I chuckled and made a terrible mistake by saying jokingly, "No, it's a baby camel."

His eyes got big and he began to back away. I told him I was kidding, but he was terrified. He took a few steps back and then a row of people from the nighborhood appeared blocking him from us and then another row blocking him from running the other way. We then saw that Olivia was blocked from coming to us also.

They all just stood there looking at us. A very bizarre sight in that middle class American neighborhood. Some dressed in traditonal middle eastern garb. Others dressed like any other person who lives in our country. There were people of all ages. Moms and Dads, Grandmas and Grandpas, Brothers and Sisters, children of all ages; teens, pre-teens, elementary age, toddlers and babies. All just standing there. Looking at us accusingly. Somehow, that one action, hitting that baby camel with those boots had hurt them deeply and I saw it in each of their eyes.

They were not going to let us have our children back.

I woke up.

When I did, I was very disturbed by the dream and I have not been able to sleep since. That was over an hour and half ago and I have a 9 hour day tomorrow at work. But I could NOT sleep.

The message in the dream was haunting me as I lay in my bed, blinded by the full moon outside.

That baby camel. Army boots. A middle class post WW2 American neighborhood filled with people from the very place our country's children are fighting and losing their lives. And again, the sound of the baby camel's cries as it trotted through the neighborhood announcing it's pain for all to hear.

I said that I felt God wanted me to remember that our country is at war, but more, to remember that our country's children are spilling their blood in a foreign land that is filled with people like you and me. Moms and Dads, Grandmas and Grandpas, children of all ages....babies: they are all casualties of this war.

My heart aches as it all becomes so clear. I found myself wanting to fall at Jesus's feet and cling to Him crying out to save us all from this terrible war.

I look at myself in sorrow. I have been so consumed with what's happening in our country right now: the economy, unemployment, companies going belly-up, banks foreclosing on people's homes....so much pain and fear. And then this dream reminds me of what's happening overseas to our children. And it's not just our country that is hurting.

It's our world.

We have gone into a new year. Looking at a "man" that we have placed so much hope in. And yet, he is only a man. And it's so unfair to place so much "hope" in a human being. I feel strongly that the only hope....the only salvation....is in Someone much bigger.

Even if you don't call yourself a "Christian", I'm asking you to join me in praying. Only God is big enough to make things right. To bring our children home.

There is a scripture that comes to mind:

2 Chronicles 7:14
if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

I'm not accusing anyone of sin. I'm just saying we need to pray and God will heal our land. It wouldn't surprise me, if while I was praying God showed me some sin I need to turn away from, but I believe that that is God's responsiblity to show me my sin.

It's my responsiblity to pray.

Our land needs healed. Not just our land....as in our country. But our whole world needs healed. And our children need a safe place to live.

Will you pray with me?

Creating a Place to Create

Isn't it interesting that at times in this journey we call life, God actually allows us to look back at certain times and realize that there was a purpose for things that at the time seemed without purpose.

I am seeing a birthing in our small rural community that I believe is the work of our very creative heavenly Father and man, it's fun to watch people's lives bloom.

There are very distinct stirrings. A coffee shop here...an art gallery there....a renovated theater.....artists experimenting....it's so amazing...I can't think of another word.

Remember a few months ago I shared my desire to start a comedy team? I believe it will happen very soon. Within the next few months. I am very excited to be working with some incredibly gifted, skilled, and talented individuals.

I look back to when I wanted to do this about three years ago and how nothing came of it except mild frustration. I wondered why God would give me such a vision and then let it die.

Something perhaps about timing....death...resurrection....community. Anyway, if you would be so inclined, I would appreciate your prayers, as I continue to meet with these others and plan and begin the work....

Below is a great video that Sherri Garver showed me and I thought it was great. Sit back, relax, enjoy....God's doing a work!

The Mansion Or The Marriage

About 6 months ago, a group of my friends were talking with me. A few of them were not church "goers", but had some questions and the rest of us were attempting to answer them. One of the things I noticed, was that some of those who did attend church said that as Believers our goal is to get to heaven. I disagreed. I said I believed our goal is to be in a relationship with God. One person cut me off and said, "Same thing..." and then continued to talk.

I let them continue. But the next day, when the same group was together I was able to express how I felt, thanks to a good friend of mine who helped me put my feelings into words.

My friend said, "Why did you get married? Was it because you loved that person or you wanted their house?"

It was a simple statement that has stuck with me and helped me to put clarity to a very important principle.

As Believers, do we accept Jesus into our hearts so we could go to heaven? I think many of us do. But if that is the goal, what do we do with the rest of our lives?

I believe that the goal is to be in a relationship with Jesus. Heaven....the mansion....is a benefit of the relationship. The mansion should not be the goal.

If it is, then we could ask Jesus into our hearts and then live any way we want because we'll get to heaven. And haven't we seen people who live this way?

But this goes against Jesus' words. His words "...take up your cross and follow me...." What He's saying here is to live like He lived. Love like He loved. A life of grace, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, kindness.....you could read all about it in the Bible.

Another way that Jesus lived is by being relevant to the culture and times He lived in.

Are we? Or are we trying to be relevant to the culture and times that Jesus lived in...which in many ways is irrelevant to this age and culture.

One Sunday morning in church a discussion arose concerning this very thing. A friend of mine felt that we could be like Jesus by being different than the world, because Jesus was different than the world.

But what does this truly mean? Does this mean we don't smoke, don't drink, don't associate with sinners?

Umm. Actually that is the opposite of being like Jesus. Jesus actually DID eat and drink with sinners. If you read the Bible, you will see in the book of Matthew, chapter nine, the Pharisees (the religious leaders of the day) were upset with Jesus because He ate with sinners and tax collectors.

When I read the scriptures, it appears to me that the way that Jesus was different in the world was because of the grace and love and compassion and kindness (etc.) that he showed to sinners. The time he spent with them, living with them, talking with them. He was their friend.

There was a time in my own life that I felt that this was the way God wanted me to live: not associating with sinners. I thought I should be totally consumed by church and church like things. My vocabulary was very religious. I did everything the church told me to do without really taking into account how it effected those around me who did not attend church. But now I see what a bunch of bunk that was. It's actually the opposite of how Jesus lived His life. He didn't do what the religious leaders of the day told Him to. He did what He felt His Father told Him in spite of what the religious leaders thought. This is why He and the Pharisees were always butting heads. They lived the rules and He live the Life His Father wanted Him to.

The scripture that I believe best depicts this is in Matthew 7:

"17Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.
21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

It's not about the mansion, it's about the relationship...the marriage. Being who He wants us to be...not what the church may want or say is the way.

I'm NOT anti-church. I DO attend a church. I am encouraged to be out in the world being a light to those around me. I believe to do this I must be relevant to my culture. I believe that this is what Jesus meant when He said to "follow Me".

It's not about how we look....it's about who we are. We are His Bride. Are we in love with our Lover or His House...Mansion...Heaven.

I think if we are in love with Him...we will shine His light. I'm not sure if that is truly possible if our only goal is to get to His house (heaven).

So...what do you think?

It's Just Me!

I realize I haven't written anything in a little bit. I always feel that I MUST write something deep or significant. But then I read my other friend's blogs and I find depth and significance in what they write just about themselves. Not that anyone would find the same thing here.

So here goes!

My life is changing. My surroundings. My friends. It happens. I've been surprised by change, but also have come to expect it. Sometimes I accept it and sometimes I fight it.

I fought my son moving out of our house. I knew it was coming. We have always butted heads and living together was so much tension. We love each other, but seemed to always get in each other's way. When he moved out, it was not out of anger or because of disagreements. I am so grateful for that. I wasn't thrilled that he was moving in with a girl, but I wasn't surprised either. I refused to be the parent who says, "If you walk out that door....don't come back."

I love my son and I wanted our relationship to remain, no matter how tense it could be.

This has been a good change in some ways. I have seen him mature in many ways. He now lives by himself. I pray for him daily and ask God to help him make smart choices. I know at times he will not....after all, not all of my choices at 18 were smart. Some of them were downright idiotic.

He has maintained employment for about 5 years. A paper route, Dairy Queen, Arby's, Joanne Etc., and now R Pizza. And I feel for someone of his age, that this is an accomplishment and I am proud of him.

So anyway, that's one change.

Early in the mornings, at 7:30 a group of children wait on the corner near our house for the school bus to the high school and middle school. I use to be able to look out a window and watch Olivia and Nick walk there, backpacks on their backs or in their hands, and stand and wait. Now they are no longer there. Both have not graduated from school and are working through an online high school to get their diplomas.

We have come full circle.

We homeschooled them both until they were in 3rd grade and then put them in public school, realizing that we did not have the knowledge needed to continue.

But now, with online schools, they really can be self-taught.

I know so many who shake their heads in disapproval. What about their socialization. My children do not live on a compound in Waco, Texas. They have more socialization than sometimes in needed. Besides, they don't need socialization in school as much as they need to focus on academics. It's just NOT an issue.

So there are times, I feel a slight.....really slight twinge of "awwww." You know; missing the days when they were young, going to the bus stop, playing. I may experience more of that when they are both out of the house. Right now, I'm enjoying the sense of freedom. I don't have to find a babysitter every time I want to do things with my friends....and Oh yeah...I can do things with my friends!

Another change: Saying good bye to some friends who are pursuing the mission field. And although they were in my life for a short time, I so enjoyed their friendship, even if it wasn't as close as I would have liked it. They are much younger than I, but really made an impression. I wish them Godspeed and blessing. Can't wait to hear how California is for them and then France! I wish I could throw tons of money their way to help them. (sigh)

Another great change is the beginnings of a "creative community". My friends, Amy, Sherri, John and I have been meeting on a regular basis and talking about working with local creative people; to help them get out in the community and become known and be encouraged in the the creative person that God has meant for them to be.

From visual artists, to writers, actors, singers, musicians, inventors, seamstresses, dancers, film makers, entrepreneurs, etc.; we want to see people being who God intended them to be.

It seems since we have been getting together that there have been other clusters of people getting together and talking about moving out into areas of their creative gifts that perhaps they didn't have the motivation to in the past. I am anticipating some incredible things as I look to the future of what God will be "creating" in individual's lives and in this area.

We will be hosting a workshop/conference weekend in March for people who are interested in seeing what's happening and I am very excited about it.

So...here I am. It's just me and what's happening here. I hope I didn't bore you too much. So what's happening with you?